So I had an interesting experience today with someone I know. Purporting to “speak the truth in love” to me, she actually told me something rather unkind.
The thing is, in her own way, she thought she was doing a good thing. She thought that she was being helpful, but somewhere along the way, she forgot something important: I have feelings!
If there’s one thing that the Lord has been teaching me recently, it’s that we should not always speak that which we feel. After all, our initial impressions are often (but not always) misguided and incorrect. However, somewhere along the way, we erroneously make the decision to act: to say the thing that we should not have said, or do the thing that we should have done.
What this person did was not loving. It was kindly meant, but it definitely was not loving. Intentions mean nothing when you are hurting someone! All that people remember is what you said and what you did, rather than what you intended to say or do. At least that’s been my experience, anyway.
Of course, I forgive her, as I sensed that – soon after we parted ways – she realized that her comment was way off-base. And perhaps these events needed to unfold in this way because we are approaching a significant turning point in our budding friendship. Only time will tell.
God continues to teach me how important it is to have integrity with our words and our actions. Otherwise, a new-ish friendship that has been so carefully constructed can begin to fall apart just as easily as it came together – a very sad thing, indeed.
My apologies that today’s entry is not my usual upbeat and optimistic fare, but one of my goals with Daily Hopeful is to be honest (otherwise, I’d lack integrity, too). Perhaps you’re wondering what hope I could possibly extract from today’s situation; admittedly, it’s a little hard to come by, but I did stumble upon the following realization:
True friends are a gift from God, and are loving, compassionate, and have integrity in their thoughts, speech, and actions. Additionally, true friends are wise, discerning, and discreet, and take the time to confirm that what they are speaking “in love” is actually biblical “truth,” rather than their own opinions or preferences.
I’m so grateful for my true friends! 💛
That’s all I’ve got, folks – hopefully I’ll be back on the hope-filled track tomorrow.